Thursday, January 12, 2012

I'm Pretty Sure


Me 4 years old (on the left)
 
Lucy 4 years old
I'm pretty sure God gave me Lucy so I could see what I would have been like without depression.  I'm also pretty sure He gave me her last so I would have the time to really pay attention to her fiesty personality.  From the beginning she was physically my twin.  I can compare pictures of us at any age and we could be the same little girl.  She was the easiest baby ever and I said all along that she would get me back at some point.  I didn't realize I would be so right about that so soon.  She is opinionated and full of personality. 
Lucy didn't walk until she was about 20 months.  She had no need for such trivial things, she was too busy dancing.  Her favorite song was, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cindy Lauper.  From the first note of that song she would start raisin' the roof and bouncing on her bum.  I am not kidding, she had it in her from the beginning.  Her taste in music hasn't changed a whole lot in her four years.  She still loves Cindy Lauper but she has added to that Lady Gaga, P!nk, Kelly Clarkson and any music from Glee.  Depending on her mood she also enjoys almost any broadway song.  She loves all the same music I do.  (She does like to occasionally head-band too, after-all she was partially made by her father.)
I watch her and wonder if I would have been like her had I felt free to let my inside out.  Lucy holds the place in my heart that was probably supposed to be reserved for loving myself.  I see myself in her in so many ways.  As I watch her I grow I am keeping my fingers crossed that she won't loose her spunk as I did.

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Chillin' in her car seat

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Just a regular morning at home.