So many times when I should have been full of joy I felt nothing. So many times when I should have been full of sorrow I felt nothing. You might think not being able to feel sadness is a good thing but it is not. People that I loved died and I felt nothing. I remember sitting at a memorial and looking around thinking that I should be sad but all I wanted to do was go home and I hated myself for that. I hate that my kids think that "moms need a lot of sleep". Years ago I found a list that my son had made in his little journal. It had each family member listed and next to my name it said "sleepy".
I have been robbed by my illness and I am heartbroken tonight because of it.