Bad Mother?

Is it bad that I put my one year old in front of the T.V. in her highchair when I just can't do it any longer? I've decided it's survival. If I need a break and that is my only option it is okay because I will come back as a better mother after the show is over. There....I answered my own question.

Summer is almost here!

I am so excited for summer this year. I actually love having my kids home with me. I feel really good and positive about my abilities to be a good Mother right now. I wish I could just play with my kids all the time and I didn't have to cook or clean unless I wanted too. If I was rich I would first hire a maid, fix my teeth (I've always wanted straight teeth) and adopt a baby. No more pregnancy for me but I still want more babies.

Love It

Today my baby is one. Today I love being Mom!!! As most of the time I do, but especially today!

Mothering

It is hard, hard, hard. I go through so much back and forth. I want to soak myself in my kids energy and free spirited lives but at the same time I constantly look for escape. I try to "hide" from them around the house without even realizing it. "Do you want to watch a movie and have a snack?" Code for....Mommy is gonna shut you in the other room with everything you need for a few hours so I can space out and do nothing. I want to fully live my life but I am too tired most of the time. I really hate it. I hate depression and all the crap that those around me have to deal with because of it.