Tuesday, December 6, 2011


I am putting the continuation of the last post on hold.  I can't have this blog feeling like homework.  I will continue, it's just not what I'm feeling right now.  I haven't written for so long because shortly after my last post summer vacation began which means I had no time for anything.  Then the kids went back to school and so did I.  My classes take up a good portion of my free time.  I've recently decided to make this somewhat of a priority though.  It feels good to write.

So my medication recently had to be changed.  After seven years of very little anxiety I fully flipped out at the end of the summer.  It seemingly came out of the blue but I have slowly begun to figure out why this happened.  For starters my Dr. put me on a stimulant last Spring to help with my exhaustion.  This was okay but I really hated the way it made me feel when it wore off.  I took it though because I was more productive and less tired and that was the whole reason for taking it.  I always get nervous for my kids to go back to school.  I like having them home in the summer and I don't like it when summer ends.  This year my baby started pre-school too which made it even more dreadful.  Lastly, I started school for the first time in over ten years which was very scary and stressful (also wonderful and exciting).  All these things combined to create the perfect storm. 

So now I am not taking the stimulant anymore and because my anxiety has bubbled up again my Dr. has added another anti-anxiety/anti-depressant.  I left my appointment the other day realizing that this is how it's going to be....My. Entire. Life.  I will never be able to say, "Wow, I beat this!"  It will be a never-ending journey with valleys, peaks and plateaus.  I guess life is that way for everyone.  I think people with depression probably have valleys that are harder to climb out of though.       


  1. You are stronger than you probably think. It's impressive to see you cope with this in a really very healthy way. Love you, Dawn.

  2. Hi Dawn, I found your link through Damaris. I also struggle with depressions, and just started treatment a few months ago. I am glad to have found someone I can relate to. I have never really written about all that I go through and few though I really want to. Anyway thanks for sharing. :o)

  3. So glad you visited! The reason I do this is to hopefully open up the discussion on mental illness so we don't have to feel ashamed or weak.
    Mina, I wasn't always healty about it. Luckily I grew up a little. :)