Just for the record, it will be 12 years in August and it has never been better.
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Lost Years
This time of year I always find myself thinking back over my younger days. I have TONS of stuff that I wish I had done differently. There were so many things that I cried about and got mad about that were so unnecessary. I hated school. I had friends and wasn't picked on at all, I still hated it. I almost didn't graduate with my class and I had no plans for what I would do after I graduated. I wanted to sleep, that was my plan. I had a boyfriend that went away to college and I was so sad when he left. I wanted to be with him forever....ummm, we didn't even stay together until Thanksgiving break. I thought he was a jerk because he basically had a life and I wasn't part of it anymore. It was my fault though. I needed goals and direction but I had none. I spent the next five years wandering. (Mostly figuratively but there was also some literal wandering too.) FIVE YEARS!! It makes me sad. I wish I could have a long conversation with that girl, help her find some direction. I met my amazing husband on May 27, 2000. Almost exactly five years after I graduated high school. He helped me find direction and he helped me feel loved. I had never felt loved before by anyone, ever. Not because no one did but because I wouldn't allow it. For some reason he stuck around through the crazy. He could see the other side when I didn't even know there was another side. The fact that the years that I lost in between high school graduation and meeting my husband happens to be exactly the same amount of time it would have taken me to get a degree and probably find a job is not lost on me. Those will always be "The Lost Years" for me. If it was a movie it could be a hysterically funny comedy or a heart-wrenching drama depending on how it was spun. If it was a book it would be a "choose your own adventure" because that is how I was making decisions at that time. I took the long way around but I still got to my destination. Maybe that's all that really matters?